


He's Our Friend, and He's Crazy

by mattygroves



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010), Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Kidnapping, M/M, Rescue, crying over spilt coffee
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-10
Updated: 2016-11-10
Packaged: 2018-08-30 06:07:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8521405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mattygroves/pseuds/mattygroves
Summary: Rodney is kidnapped from a physics conference, but Sheppard and 5-0 are on the case!





	

“What have we got, Chin?” Steve asked, strapping on his tac vest.

“Hostage situation in the Grand Ballroom. A bunch of physicists,” Chin answered, checking his shotgun.

“Why would someone want a bunch of nerds?” Danny asked. He was already having a great day. He’d been wrenched from his lunch with Grace and Charlie. Yeah, he was a happy guy right about now.

“This isn’t a Star Trek convention—these people are contracted by departments of defense in powerful countries around the globe. We’re talking high security clearance, next-gen weapons manufacturing, you name it,” Chin said.

“So it’s a matter of national security,” Steve said. “Suit up, Danno, we’re going in.”

“What are you talking about, suit up? I’m suited. This is me, suited up,” he indicated his tac vest and assault rifle.

Chin didn’t even try to hide his eye roll. Kono’s car had just pulled up so he went to fill her in.

“Who’s in charge here?” 

The guy blatantly ignoring the police barrier was tall with spiky dark hair, still wet from the beach. He looked like he’d hastily pulled on a pair of black BDUs with his t-shirt. His boots were still untied.

“Hey, woah, woah,” Steve held up his hands to block the guy, “You can’t just barge in here like that. There’s procedure—”

Danny snorted behind him.

“My husband is in there, so you can bet your ass I’m going in after him,” the guy said, giving Steve a run for his money in the crazy eyes department.

“Look, I’m sure we can sort this out,” Danny said. “But you can’t just waltz into a hostage situation, husband or no.”

“My name’s John Sheppard,” the guy said, “Colonel, US Air Force. Put a call in to General O’Neill in DC, he’ll tell you all you need to know. We’re wasting precious time here. The guys after my husband are really bad dudes—”

“Wait a second, you think this is all about your husband—” Steve began.

“Dr. Rodney McKay, and yes.”

“So this Dr. McKay is so important that ten to twelve guys with Uzis just locked down the fanciest hotel on the island—“ Danny interjected.

“Yeah. You gonna make that call or not?” This Sheppard guy really had the still-waters-run-deep thing going for him. He stared down Steve and won, to Danny’s surprise.

“Okay. I’ll make the call.” Steve turned his back and pulled out his phone.

“So what can you tell me about your husband’s work?” Danny asked, trying to distract Sheppard from boring holes into the back of Steve’s head with the power of his mind.

“It’s highly classified. But a lot of people would go to a lot of trouble to get their hands on it.”

“Okay, we’re good to go,” Steve said turning around. General O’Neill had said a lot of words that boiled down to “This crazy mother fucker has seen some shit and saved my ass and the entire planet’s ass on multiple occasions.” That was good enough for Steve, even if he was a zoomie. “I’m Lieutenant Commander Steve McGarrett, this is my partner Danny Williams. Here’s what we’re gonna do.”

***

In the end, they killed three bad guys and arrested seven more. None of hostages had serious injuries, just a few bruises and one light bullet graze. 

There were a hundred or so scientists gathered for the conference, so John got up on stage to survey the crowd for Rodney. His heart was pounding in his chest. He knew Rodney’s voice should be rising above the crowd, full of criticism and complaint.

“John!” a familiar voice called. It was Radek, pushing his way through the crowd, holding a compression bandage to his head over what looked like a pretty nasty head wound—probably from the butt of a gun—and being pursued by a persistent EMT.

“Radek, where’s McKay?” John jumped down to face him.

“They took him, John. The hostage situation was just a cover to get him away. They left at least thirty minutes ago, before the police had surrounded the hotel.”

John made eye contact with McGarrett and gestured him over to explain the situation in a few terse words. McGarrett immediately got to work, barking orders at the uniforms and filling in the other members of his team.

John turned back to Zelenka. “What else do you know, Radek?”

“He did not go quietly—” that got a hint of a smirk out of John— “He was yelling about that time he was abducted by Ford. You know with the Wrai—er, the enzyme.”

“So these guys drugged him?”

“I believe so.”

John gripped his gun tighter. “Okay. We can track him, right?”

Radek opened his laptop, his eyes full of sympathy. “Unfortunately his tracker is off-line. They must have removed it.”

“I’m gonna kill them,” John said matter-of-factly.

“We’ve shut down the ports,” Steve said. “They won’t get him off the island.”

“Right,” said John, “We need to establish a perimeter. These guys have a half an hour lead on us, how far—”

John was interrupted by a buzzing in his back pocket.

***

Rodney really hated getting kidnapped. Sheppard was going to hold it over his head for weeks, months even. He especially hated the floaty feeling in his head from whatever they gave him. And the motion of the SUV was making him a little sick. Rodney was pretty sure he had a little slobber on his chin, adding insult to injury.

But a drugged genius is still a genius, and his kidnappers were getting sloppy. All he had to do—

“Hey, what the fuck, man?” said the guy seated to his left.

“What?” Rodney exclaimed. “I’m a gay man. I like butts.”

“Keep your hands to yourself if you want to keep your nose intact,” the goon said, not even noticing that his phone was no longer in his back pocket. It was tricky work with his hands tied behind his back and a goon on either side, but Rodney managed.

***

“It’s an unknown number,” John stared at his phone. “Sending me GPS coordinates.”

The phone buzzed again. “They’re on the move.” 

“So you expect me to believe that your husband somehow got a phone off his kidnappers while drugged out of his gourd and is texting you up to the minute updates on his location?” Detective Danny Williams asked, smoothing down his hair.

“He’s a genius,” John grinned.

Radek shrugged and nodded.

***

They took a chopper to the harbor, arriving at the same time as Rodney and his kidnappers. Chin put a hole in their lookout’s chest while Kono took out a few guys on the balustrade of a cargo ship.

Dr. McKay’s kidnappers took cover behind a row of pallets stacked with sacks of coffee while Steve and Danny moved in on them, shooting until coffee beans came streaming out onto the dock. Sheppard stole around the back and took them both out with efficient shots to the head. 

When Steve and Danny finally rounded the pallet, they found Sheppard cradling Dr. McKay in his arms while the other man sobbed. They made to back away, giving them a private moment, when Sheppard saw them and rolled his eyes.

“He’s fine,” Sheppard said.

“All that coffee, John,” McKay mumbled into his husband’s chest. “That beautiful, beautiful coffee.”

“He should probably go to the hospital, though. Whatever they gave him must have been pretty strong,” Sheppard grinned, stroking a hand through McKay’s thinning hair.

“You—“ Danny sputtered— “I’ll have you know that I am familiar with crazy. Crazy and I are well acquainted. But you, sir—”

“Come on, Danno,” Steve said, pulling him by the belt loop, “Let’s get this wrapped up. We’ve got burgers in the fridge for dinner. We can pick up the kids from Rachel’s on the way home.”

***

“Come on, Rodney,” John said later, finally back in their hotel room after a few hours giving statements and getting Rodney checked out at the hospital. “Hawaii’s not all bad.”

“I was kidnapped, Sheppard!” Rodney waved around his bandaged arm where the bastards had cut out his tracker. “By the Trust! They were going to kill me if I didn’t make them a bomb big enough to destroy an entire solar system!”

“It’s not like it’d be your first solar system, McKay, relax.”

“Pretty sure it would have been populated this time,” Rodney glared from where he was ensconced in the hotel’s comfy bed, surrounded by all the pillows.

“There was never any danger of them getting you off the island. Your brain and my physical prowess? Unstoppable.”

Rodney must have still been a little out of it, because without his noticing Sheppard was suddenly shirtless and looming over him, straddling him and leaning down until their lips met. Not that Rodney was complaining.

“I’m going to be starving after this,” Rodney said, a hand making it’s way into John’s hair, the other tracing the smooth plane of his back.

“I’ll order the whole goddam room service menu,” John said between kisses, “Surf and turf and surf and surf and surf—”

“Will you shut up already?” Rodney asked, getting down to business.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I hope this brings a little humor and brightness to your day. Don't let the bastards get you down, friends.


End file.
